Here With Me
by AnGelFacE S2
Summary: When the sun goes down and the moon comes up; he's no longer the servant and she's no longer the master; they're just two equals binded by the weight of the world on their shoulders. Merlin/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** I have tried, really I have. I've tried writing a story like normal people do and I just can't seem to do it any more. So I'm reverting back to my old ways. ^.^ eg, '_Love the way you lie'_ etc. Those kinds of stories just seem to work for me. :D  
This is told in the point of view of my OC. 

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything except the things you don't recognise. Like my own character for example. 

The dreams are the hardest, when you can feel your heart thumping in your chest, when you can feel your breath coming out in short jolts. Its then when you wish you weren't so alone in the world. You're a Pendragon, you always have been. It's in your blood to hide your emotions, to hide them behind a wall so thick that you have to claw your way out to feel even the simplest things.

When you wake with a start, because you saw him again. You saw your home burn and your brother's blood dripping through your fingers as you scream for you half-sister to help you; when you see your half-sister- Morgana- standing there with a smile on her face as you scream your brother's name, you know it is what's meant to come. 

_He was always going to die by her hands._

You wake and he's beside you; your brother's servant. Merlin. He's beside you looking at you with his sea blue eyes full of worry. He's always there for you when you wake up. Sometimes it's because Arthur, your brother, had ordered him to wake you up because you've once again slept in, and sometimes it's because he hears you crying out for someone to help you.

But he's always there. Holding on to your hand as you squeeze the life out of it. You know he wants you to talk about it, yet you never can. You don't want to depend on Merlin too much to become your confident. Mostly because he's a servant, your _brother's_ servant at that. 

_Yet why do you feel for him?_

Sometimes you see him in the courtyard, in his uncles house, with your brother; and he looks at you and gives you a smile which makes your heart stop, which makes your stomach clench, makes your breath falter; sometimes you wonder if he thinks of you the way you think of him.

You know it will never work; he's a servant and you're a noble. And yet, funnily enough, you sometimes eat your lunch with him in his house. It's soup and it's sometimes half cold, but it makes you happier then a lot of things in your life. Because it's so simple. He tells you about his home and about his mother and you wish for a life like that. Where things are so simple and the only things you have to worry about is if your crops are growing. It's something that you would love to do. 

_Maybe your life can be so much simpler..._

You see that in time; it's the little things which made you realise that you felt so strongly. When you sit up the very top of the bell tower, looking out over the land which one day will belong to you and your brother, you see his face the clearest in the hundreds below. He knows where to find you when no one else can; when you've run away because you can't accept the responsibility which your father has laid upon your shoulders. You feel his eyes on you every time he's near; it burns into your back, his gaze which you wished so badly you could interpret.

It's only when the bells ring and you're faced with an impossible choice that you wished you were one of the servants, that you were someone who wasn't recognised in the streets so easily. You hate when your father tells you that you look like you're mother, that you think just like her, have her kind of speech. You know you're exactly like her; except for the hair colour, that's all your fathers. You have his brown while Arthur got her blonde. 

_The weight feels almost impossible to breathe under..._

You face him every day and you try so hard not to look at him, to ignore the longing in your heart that you want to kiss him so badly it almost hurts. That though the day; your a master and he's your servant. He brings you your breakfast and you try to make his load of chores easier then Arthur's. Because you know your brother better then most.  
You have a woman maid come in every day to help you with your dresses, to help you with the things only a woman can help with. But it's Merlin who brightens up your day that little bit more; because he doesn't look at you the way your family does. He doesn't look at you like you're royalty, he looks at you like you're an equal. And you will always thank him for that. 

_He keeps you grounded.  
_

And when the sun goes down and Camelot is so quiet that no sound outside will go unnoticed. When your screams echo throughout the deserted town; you always know who will be the first one at your side; hugging you to his chest, telling you that it was just another nightmare. He brushes your hair away and holds you close to his side; wanting you to tell him about the dream, about your secret desires and your greatest fears. He wants you to open up to him. 

_When the sun goes down and the moon comes up; he's no longer you servant and you're no longer his master; you're just two equals.  
Two equals who are binded by the same factor.  
_

You're both binded by the common weight on your shoulders, the weight which sometimes makes it so hard to breathe that you wonder if it's going to crush you to death.

**Author's Note:** So there it is!  
If you all want another chapter; please please please let me know!  
xxx_  
_


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: ** Thank you all so much for my beautiful reviews and alerts! It means heaps to me! ^.^ 

**Disclaimer:** Still not owning anyone/thing. 

**~First Meetings~**

The day when you first saw him; when you were standing looking out the window at the man who was about to be executed. Your eyes meet. At first you think he was looking at Morgana; especially since she's next to you; and when she's next to you, you don't exist. Her beauty always makes you feel insignificant standing next to her. And you know your father secretly wishes she was his daughter and not you.  
Gwen says you're being paranoid again. 

But when he looks at you for the very first time; you automatically straighten up. Because for the first time in your life, someone's looking _at_ you and not _through_ you. It scares you terribly at the prospect that maybe someone's going to notice you and who you are. 

A soft hand touches your arm and you turn to see Morgana looking at you; her green eyes questioning what she was looking at, you shrug it off and look back over at the crowd and he's gone. You can feel her stomach drop ever so slightly and you turn away from the scene in front of you; ignoring the sound of the executioners axe falling onto the young man's neck. 

_It's the sound which makes you shiver at night; because one day that might be your neck on the block._

You see him around the town; delivering medicine. You finally realise that his name is Merlin and he's the physician's nephew. He stumbles over his words as he talks to you and you can't help but to laugh at him. You don't know why; yet his cheeks turn bright red when you tell him that you think him standing up to your brother was brave. No one had the guts to stand up to Arthur except maybe Morgana. You offer to help him with his rounds, but he declines your offer and bids you a good day. 

_It's the first encounter which sets the tone for your whole relationship_. 

You see him again at the feast. You sit next to your brother and you're both talking quietly to each other. But it's the boy in the red neckerchief, the brown jacket and the dark blue shirt which really occupies your mind. You think he's something unusual. Like he's seen more then he should have in his young years. Arthur talks to you; something about training the new knights. Usually, you would be more then happy to be having this conversation with him; because you like to watch the knights train, you like it most though when Arthur allows you to train with them. It usually takes a lot of persuading, but he usually allows you too. 

When Lady Helen starts to sing; you notice something wrong about her, something all too familiar. The singing makes you so tired, so sleepy that you're not too sure if you can stay awake for much longer. It's the first warning sign, because you never sleep willingly. The dreams are too much so you stay awake all through the night usually. It takes someone to force you asleep.

_So why are you so damn tired now?_

He saved your brother's life and you don't know if you can be any more thankful then you already are. You both stare at each other in the empty corridor. You should have been in bed a long time before, it was so cold out and small goosebumps were rising on your arms as you hug them close to yourself.  
You don't know what to say to him; you could ask why, or even better yet; how. But you find the words have died on your lips as you open your mouth to say them to him. You whisper a thank you ever so quietly and you go to turn your back on him. 

It's his voice which brings you back to him; he explains that he didn't save Arthur because it was the right thing to do. He did it because he knows how much you need your brother around.  
You don't know how to react to that. You don't even know if you can. It was a selfish answer to an almost selfish question.

_So you walk away without another word._

You have loved before.  
There was once a time when you loved Sir Leon. Arthur's right hand man. There was a time when he also loved you, and for the first time in your life, you know your father was proud of you. You've fallen for a noble man, someone who can bring pride into the family.  
So you both dated for a while, you both fraternised. But in the end you realise that what you both have wasn't what you both wanted. 

You both knew that it was going to end one day; you've been feeling it for the past few weeks. You didn't feel the butterflies when he kissed you any more. So when he sits you down and tells you oh so gently that he doesn't feel the same way; you're not upset. Disappointed maybe; but not upset.  
This was so much different; mainly because you know that Merlin's out of bounds to you, you know that he probably doesn't feel the same; but you can't help it. You just like his boyish charms. He's so...Merlin.

_It was just so hard to explain._

You're more then surprised when you have a nightmare that night and he's by your side. Telling you that it's okay, whatever the dream was it wasn't real. Yet you know different.  
Your mind wonders how he got to your room so fast, how he came to find you. Your cheeks are wet with tears and he holds you into his chest as you cry louder then you have before. You don't know why you trust him so much, but there's something about him which makes you feel safe in his arms. Like nothing will ever hurt you. 

_You're finally safe.  
_


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing! I'm so glad that you all like this story; even if I'm not too sure about it. ^.^ 

**Disclaimer:** Yep; still not mine. 

You're quite aware that your father loves more for Morgana than he does for you. You're an outcast. The princess who doesn't want to be. You would much rather be with Arthur and his knights then sit with the ladies of the court pretending to be something you're not.  
It's quite unfair when you really think about it; because no matter what your father does to Arthur, he always has a release for his anger, while you have to grin and bare it no matter what. Sometimes you feel as though you want to scream, shout at someone to listen to what you're saying. 

Instead you sit there quiet and poised. Pretending that you're not currently getting checked out by some drunk knight, and that you're not wanting to shout out at the world. Even if you try, you know your words wouldn't be heard.  
And it breaks your heart. 

The room is filled with drunken nobles and knights. Their wives and other ladies of the court are flirting with any and every man. You know you're not allowed to behave in this way and you envy the girls who are allowed to act promiscuously towards other men. You dream of the day when you have the freedom to do as you please. The day when Arthur became king, you hope that he allows you the freedom you so very long for. 

Then you meet his eyes across the room.  
His deep blue eyes are staring at you as some knight talks aimlessly in your ear about something you're not really interested in.  
He holds your brother's cup of wine in his hands; there's a small smile on his face as you silently plead for him to help you. He continues to smile as your brother takes the cup off him and starts talking to the servant.  
There's a sigh which leaves you lips as you turn to the knight. 

He escorts you back to your chambers when the king calls the celebrations to a finish. There's an awkward silence between you two because the only time you've ever spoken was when he comes into your room because of the nightmares.  
You want to say something to him. Anything to kill the tension between you. So he asks you about your dreams and if they're any better. You lie and tell him that they're so much better. And you lie because it's what you do best. 

It's what you always do.

You know for a fact that he doesn't believe you and you can see it in his eyes that he can't. He gives you a look which makes you heart stop and your breath falter. You're both so close to each other that you can feel the heat emit from his skin and on to your own. The feelings you have for him are so strong and you realise that now. But you're so afraid. You're afraid of the consequences which your actions would have if you kiss him now.  
Your father would never allow you to have a relationship with a servant and you know that. 

You now know what Arthur and Gwen have to go through.  
It's funny that the two Pendragon children have fallen in love with servants. A small chuckle escapes your lips and you're now painfully aware that he's staring at you.

When you arrive at your chambers you stare at each other for what seems like a lifetime. You swallow deeply when you see the different array of emotions in his eyes. You can feel yourself gravitate towards him as he lowers his head ever so slightly.  
There's so many thoughts going through your mind at this moment, his eyes are still focused on yours as you nervously. You wonder what Arthur will think when he realises that you kissed his servant. Would he be mad or happy?  
You wonder if word would get back to Uther and that's when you place your hands on his chest and push him away slightly. 

Your father would have him beheaded if he finds out that you and a servant are having a relationship. There's confusion and hurt in his eyes as he looks at you.  
A small shake of your head makes your heart hurt as you push open your chamber door and slam it behind you. 

That night; you fall asleep with tears falling down your face and the nightmares which follow, you don't cry out for him. You know how much it would hurt. To have him so close yet so far away.  
You can go around acting like the nightmares are gone and that you're happy with who you are. You can place a smile on your face everyday and laugh at the jokes. 

Yet you can't stop the heartbreak you feel every time you see him.


End file.
